Choosing an Adoptive Family
Making an adoption plan for your baby is one of the biggest decisions you can make. It’s full of emotions—love, hope, maybe sadness, and definitely a lot of questions. One of the most important choices you’ll make during this process is: Who will raise my child?
That question might feel overwhelming right now, but you’re not alone. You don’t have to figure it all out by yourself. There are caring people, helpful websites, and trustworthy organizations ready to walk with you every step of the way. Two of the best resources are Adoption.com and the Gladney Center for Adoption. They are here to help you feel supported and informed, not pressured.
Let’s break it all down together—step by step—so you can feel confident and peaceful about the choices ahead.
You Are in Control
Before anything else, here’s something important to remember: You are in control of your adoption plan. You get to decide whether adoption is the right choice for you and your baby. If it is, then you also get to choose the family who will raise your child. That’s a powerful, loving decision. And it’s one that deserves care, time, and support.
At Gladney and Adoption.com, you’ll find people who respect your voice. They want to help you understand your options, without pressure or judgment.
Step 1: Think About What You Want in a Family
Every expectant mom is different. So is every adoption story. That’s why it’s okay to take some time and ask yourself: What kind of family do I want for my baby?
Here are some things you might think about:
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Do I want my child to grow up with siblings?
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Is it important that the family has the same beliefs or values I do?
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Would I like them to live in the city, the country, or somewhere in between?
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Do I want them to have pets?
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How do I feel about open adoption and keeping in touch?
There’s no right or wrong answer. This is your journey. Writing down what’s important to you can help you feel clear and confident when it’s time to look at families.
Step 2: Start Exploring Parent Profiles
Once you have an idea of what kind of family you’re looking for, the next step is to start searching. The easiest place to begin is on Adoption.com’s Parent Profiles. This is a special part of the site that lets you browse through many hopeful adoptive families.
These aren’t just short blurbs or names on a list. Every profile includes:
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Photos of the family (including their pets, vacations, hobbies, and daily life)
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Letters written just for you, the expectant parent
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Stories about why they want to adopt
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Info about their home, careers, and what kind of life they hope to give your child
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Endorsements from family and friends who know them well
And here’s the best part: Every family listed is home study approved. That means they’ve gone through background checks, interviews, training, and home visits by a licensed agency. In other words, they are fully ready to adopt—and waiting with open hearts.
You can explore at your own pace, save the profiles you like, and even reach out to families through the platform when you feel ready.
Step 3: Ask Questions That Matter to You
When you find a family (or a few) that feel like a good match, you’ll have a chance to get to know them better. This part might feel a little scary—but it’s also really exciting. You get to talk, ask questions, and see how you feel when you connect.
You can ask anything that’s important to you. Here are some sample questions to get you started:
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Why do you want to adopt?
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What’s a regular day like in your home?
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Do you have other children? How do they feel about having a new sibling?
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Will one of you stay home with the baby?
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What are your hopes for your relationship with me, the birth parent?
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How do you plan to talk about adoption with your child?
You can also ask fun questions like:
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What’s your favorite holiday tradition?
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Do you like to travel or stay home?
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Do you have a favorite children’s book or movie?
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What’s something silly that always makes you laugh?
Remember, you are not interviewing them to judge—they want you to get to know them. They understand this is a big deal, and they will likely be thankful and honored to talk with you.
Step 4: Learn About the Support You’ll Get
You should never feel alone during this process. Whether you’re still deciding what to do, or you’ve already chosen adoption, Gladney and Adoption.com both offer free, confidential support for expectant parents.
The Gladney Center for Adoption
Gladney is one of the most trusted adoption agencies in the country. They’ve been around for over 135 years, and they know that every adoption journey is different. They’ll connect you with a caring caseworker who can:
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Help you explore your options
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Talk through your hopes and fears
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Answer your questions
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Support you emotionally and practically—before, during, and after adoption
Adoption.com Support Services
In addition to Parent Profiles, Adoption.com gives you lots of ways to get help:
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Adoption Specialists: Talk with a real person about your concerns
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Articles and Videos: Learn from experts, other moms, and adoptive families
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Other Support Services: Access help and support for your specific needs throughout your pregnancy
Step 5: Make a Plan That Feels Right for You
Once you’ve chosen an adoptive family, your caseworker will help you create an adoption plan. This includes:
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The kind of contact you want with the adoptive family (before and after placement)
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The details of your hospital stay and delivery
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Legal paperwork and your rights as a birth parent
You can decide how much you want to be involved during your pregnancy and after placement. Some moms want updates, pictures, or visits. Others want a more private arrangement. Either way, you can talk through it all with your team and make the plan that feels best for you.
It’s Okay to Change Your Mind
Adoption is a process, not a decision you have to make overnight. And it’s okay to have doubts, ask questions, or change your mind. Until you sign legal papers (which only happens after your baby is born), your plan is just that—a plan. Nothing is final until you’re ready.
Your feelings matter. Your story matters. And no one should ever rush or pressure you.
Choosing an adoptive family is a deeply personal and emotional decision. It may bring up big feelings—love, loss, hope, fear, peace, and everything in between. Whatever you’re feeling is valid.
Just know this: You don’t have to walk this road alone.
There are people who want to listen, not judge. People who care about you, not just your baby. People who will walk with you, whether you choose adoption or decide to parent.
Gladney and Adoption.com are here to support you every step of the way.
Take the First Step
If you’re ready to start exploring hopeful adoptive families, visit Adoption.com Parent Profiles.
If you want to talk to someone today, reach out to the Gladney Center for Adoption at Gladney.org.
You’re strong, and you’re not alone. You can make the best choice for you and your baby—with love, with support, and with confidence.